The importance of earnest politeness

My preschooler and I walk the vast school halls to his classroom per our morning drop-off tradition. He has a bounce in his step and nearly trips over his colorful sneaker-clad feet as he gleefully anticipates another fun day with his classmates. I smile at him encouragingly while the teeniest sector of my heart aches, in undoubted tune with the good company of so many mamas and dads battling that same internal tug as they pridefully, bittersweetly watch their young tots grow up far too quickly.

Smiling ear to ear, my son stops abruptly in front of two heavy, wooden doors.

He holds up a hand to me and shouts, ‘Stop!’

If only I could stop time, indeed.

But wait.

Quickly coming back from my nostalgic train of thought to this traffic stop present tense, I was ready to rush him along when he began pushing the double doors with all his might, speaking in a strained voice, “I got the door for us, Mama.”

Out of the mouths of chivalrous babes.

After I passed through the doors, he continued to hold open the heavy doors for a handful of older kids who followed right behind us.

During my teens and young twenty-somethings, I always tried to remember to thank anyone who held a door for me, helped me, let me pass, whether their acts of kindness were large or small.

Perhaps I should have thanked their parents, too.

Because parents, caregivers, teachers all work to instill the importance of good manners in people from the time they are little ones – little ones who grow to make big differences in the world.

The repeated, seemingly endless enforcement of minding manners to young kiddos is worth it – Good manners help build strong character that carries these tiny tots well into adulthood.

It remains so vital to teach kiddos the importance of being earnestly polite.

This little anecdote about my son opening doors is not to be smug.

His overall temperament throughout his young life has not been without a fair share of meltdowns, tantrums, ridiculous outbursts, extreme pickyeating stand-offs and other behaviors absolutely typical of tots.

Those of you who regularly read this column know I’ve written plenty about not-sosmooth sailing moments.

So when little gem moments shine through such as this, it affirms that our hard work and reminders are beginning to pay off .

In order to fiercely combat all the meltdowns, tantrums, ridiculous outbursts et al, we as parents have all the more reason to instill manners, so that courtesy becomes second nature, a part of the fabric of our young children’s lives.

To ask repeatedly for that magic word, to give raisedeyebrow cues over and over and over again is absolutely worth it. Your patience will pay off when you observe your tot politely thanking a grandparent, or sharing a toy with a friend, unprovoked.

The continued push for teaching good manners will always be an important one, in a manner of speaking.

Etiquette rules may have evolved since the days of Emily Post, but chivalry and respect will always be in style.

So start ‘em young.

Teach young kiddos those magic words, if you please.

— Michelle Cote is the art director of the Journal Tribune. She enjoys cooking, baking, and living room dance-offs with her husband, two boys and a dog. She can be contacted at mcote@journaltribune.com.

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