Andy Young
America owes Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau an apology, and since the person who made it necessary is unlikely to offer one himself, I thought I’d give it a try.
Mr. Trudeau: first of all, thank you for your continuing attempts to engage diplomatically with a vain, arrogant narcissist who publicly chortled over lying to you about a nonexistent trade deficit back in March.
Thank you for standing up to the swaggering, thin-skinned egomaniac who called you “very dishonest and weak” after this month’s G-7 meetings. The truth: those two adjectives are as ill fitting for you as they are apt for him. Please don’t take his remarks personally; his routinely disgraceful behavior is emboldened by both his sycophantic cadre of enablers and his peculiar inability to feel shame. Thank you for firmly explaining to him that Canada will reply in kind to the ill-considered, unfair tariffs he has, for bogus reasons, decided to levy on not only your country, but on other allies which, until now, have been reliable trade partners for both our nations.
Hopefully your restrained, measured reaction will help cure the mysterious paralysis that’s rendered nearly every sitting and aspiring Republican office holder unable to speak out against their party’s Dear Leader. These pious individuals who in the past cast themselves as high-minded moralists have, for whatever reason(s), become too meek to speak out about the myriad transgressions of their party’s ethically challenged, adulterous prevaricator-in-chief.
Most importantly though, please accept my sincere thanks to you, your nation, and all of its citizens for being ideal neighbors to Americans in general, and those of us living in border states in particular. I have been coming to Canada since 1968, have visited all ten of the dominion’s provinces, and have stayed overnight in eight of them. (Don’t worry, Manitoba and Prince Edward Island: I’ll come back, I promise!)
Sensible Americans know there’s no better nation than yours with which to share a 5,525-mile border. A few obstinate, misinformed individuals, egged on by a perpetually petulant, proudly ignorant bully, would undoubtedly parrot shrill disagreement with this sentiment. But who would these people prefer to live next door to? Iran? Afghanistan? Syria? Iraq? Or maybe North Korea, a nation whose ruthless dictator our commander-in-chief has been cozying up to lately, in between issuing impulsive, insulting tweets at Democrats, entertainers he dislikes, and leaders of America’s most steadfast allies.
On behalf of myself and millions of other rational residents of the United States who, unlike our president, value substance over style, I feel compelled to apologize to you, your fellow G-7 leaders, and, by extension, those who dwell in your nations. Unfortunately our preening, crass president has never retracted any of his intemperate, logic-free rantings, regardless of how outrageous they are, and he never will. Ad hominem attacks like the ones he leveled at you last weekend never yield anything positive. Please know not all Americans are smug, boorish hypocrites. In fact, more than six decades of living here has convinced me the vast majority of us are as kind, generous, and thoughtful as your nation’s inhabitants are. But unfortunately, in contemporary America unapologetic selfishness and ceaseless, strident deception command far more attention from both mainstream and social media than diplomacy, integrity, and common decency do.
On a related topic, my 17-year-old high school senior-to-be was mightily impressed with his tours of Dalhousie, McGill, and Mount Allison Universities, all of which we visited last summer. He seems determined to attend school in Canada for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is he’s embarrassed by the inarticulate, self-centered liar whose repugnant countenance is, unfortunately, seen by many on the international scene as the current face of America.
Your shining example of civility under duress has inspired me to do my own small part to strengthen US-Canadian relations. I’ll be headed north later this summer, and while my son is exploring several universities in Ontario, I vow to spend every penny of my modest discretionary fund while I’m up there. I’m totally convinced the maple syrup, Blue Jays shirts, and good karma I’ll return with will more than make up for my somewhat more slender wallet.
Finally, I’d like to personally apologize for using you as a sounding board for letting off steam, and for including several ad hominem attacks of the very same sort I’ve decried our president for unleashing on others. I hope you appreciate the incongruousness there, because I know he won’t. America’s current commander-in-chief doesn’t get (or do) irony.
Thanks again for your calm, level headed stand against the screeching, pathologically dishonest oppressor to your south. If Americans and Canadians follow your dignified and courageous lead, maybe someday we can make North America great again.
Comments are not available on this story.
Send questions/comments to the editors.
