Parents today are often haunted by the feeling that children must be prepared to compete early and succeed from the start, whether for preschool, kindergarten or first grade.
Parents may succumb to the urge to teach children the necessary skills in advance.
But pressure on a child to perform before she is ready seems to me to cheat her of opportunities to explore, play and learn from experimentation.
Failure, followed by frustration or boredom, can set the stage for the child’s resistance. Too many “precocious” learners burn out later.
Most important is the child’s eagerness to learn and her sense that she is in control of her learning.
Simply reading to a young child is a powerful way of preparing a child for later academic demands — even though the cuddling that accompanies “story time” is the most delicious reward.
In her book, “Talk to Me, Baby!” psychologist Betty Bardige quoted a study of 3-year-olds in which children from poor, under-served families had only half as many words and concepts with which to start preschool as children from more privileged backgrounds. Can they catch up?
In families where parents talk and read with their children, 3-year-olds are already equipped with the words and concepts that give them a head start in the learning process.
The way a child’s learning style and abilities are welcomed may shape her readiness to learn in the future.
Fine motor skills such as cutting, drawing and writing demand considerable neurological maturity as well as the patience, care and perseverance that come with emotional maturity.
It is a fallacy to think all children are ready for these challenges at the same time. “Late bloomers” deserve to be identified and have their pace respected.
Giving a child who needs it an extra year to mature may be more critical than timing preschool so that a child arrives in first grade when she is 6.
The goal should be to build the child’s interest in learning. Many children are pushed because they are bright — but not enough attention is paid to their maturity and readiness.
Among the reasons to allow a child to mature before starting preschool or to stay in preschool or kindergarten a year longer:
• Family patterns of late bloomers.
• Prematurity or physical problems in early life.
• Delay in physical size or development.
• Immature motor development — awkwardness; poor motor skills, such as in catching or throwing a ball, drawing or cutting.
• Easy distractibility and short attention span.
• Difficulty with right-left hand or eye-hand coordination, such as in copying a circle or a diamond.
• Lagging social development — difficulty taking turns, sharing or playing.
However, if any such delays or disabilities continue to interfere with the child’s progress, arrange for a careful assessment — neurological and psychological — to identify the underlying problem. While the child may well outgrow the problem, it is important to understand the reasons for the delay and to identify her strengths.
— New York Times Syndicate
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