Floating through the stratosphere of Big Brother ideas in Augusta are proposals that would make use of cell phones while operating a motor vehicle a criminal offense. Do we detect bit of Chicken Little here? Is the sky really falling? Or, will these proposals – along with earlier nutcake explications such as the requirement for a pedestrian to carry a lantern walking in advance of a horseless buggy – eventually go the way of the buggy whip?
While cell phone proposals are marinating in the media, they have reached the attention of the thinking public in Gorham. One such meeting, held last week at the hall of the Gorham Home Distillers Club, was well attended.
First off the mark was Phil Pheremone (“call me Phero”), a local anti-tax activist. While he admits his group has lost some heart since the painful pummeling of TABOR a couple of years ago, he still claimed to represent “dozens of my sorely burdened fellow taxpayers.” He presented what he called “a common sense cost scenario.” According to him, there are 3,000 sworn policemen in Maine (exclusive of prison and security people), and if these officers made an average of one cell phone stop per month, it would result in 36,000 stops per year. Each stop would require a half hour (including argument). He estimated the hourly expense per policeman to be $50 dollars, which, when added to administration and court costs, would make the cost of such a law well over a million dollars annually. He found this figure insufferable.
He cited the “intolerable and costly” seatbelt law bequeathed us by the current Legislature as similarly “expensive and unnecessary, nanny nonsense.”
Attorney J. Noble Daggett, noting that litigation is bread and butter for lawyers, had no objection to such a law. For example, he said that the word “use” can be both verb and noun and might include “hitting the kids over the head,” and thus might create employment for needy doctors of jurisprudence. He also said that “intent ” offered a rich field for legal challenge. “What would be the penalty for holding the phone while only intending its use?”
Jed Abstruse wanted to know if car radios were to be considered cell phones. Any restriction would have to exempt cabbies, who require radios to conduct business. He then posed an interesting hypothetical, wondering how many people might apply for cab licenses.
One speaker noted that global positioning systems (GPS) would have to be exempted and this might lead to hard feelings. Such systems are now standard equipment on Lexus, Mercedes, Bentley and Cadillac vehicles. Since working people can only afford a lesser car with a hand-held Nokia, such a law might be class discrimination.
Among other questions were: Would exceptions be made for calling 911 to report a highway danger? Would a cop talking in an unmarked car create disrespect for the law? How about passengers who converse with the driver in order to translate or discuss material from their own cell phone? Is phone sex to suffer more severe punishment than listening to Mr. Dobson’s Christian Hour?. How about praying or singing a hymn?
Freddy Flugelhorn of West Gorham summed up what seemed to be the general consensus of the meeting. He feared such a proposal was a slippery slope, down which would eventually slide restrictions on “eating, drinking, smoking, talking, reading, writing, singing, lipstick, giving the finger to passing motorists and, God forbid, sex.”
Rodney Quinn, who lives in Gorham, is a former Maine secretary of state. He can be reached at rquinn@maine.rr.com. His book, “Gorham During the Great Depression,” can be purchased at the Baxter Memorial Library. Proceeds benefit the library.
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