Jonathan and I are getting older and are in that phase of life where we have older parents (who are also getting older) and children who are getting older too. And it has begun to dawn on us that time is like a river that just keeps on flowing as we head toward becoming our parents and our children are becoming “us.”
With our six daughters inheriting the responsibilities that come with “adulting,” be it getting their cars registered, having the oil changed, moving into their first apartment with roommates from college and inheriting furniture that they’re not really sure they want. And at the opposite end of the spectrum are the oldest adults in our family as they age and begin to pass down both their belongings and their responsibilities to us, their adult children.
While practicing her “adulting” skills, my youngest Juliet, who is now 18, bought Betsy Edgerton’s (Jonathan’s mother’s) car, and my eldest daughter Daphne, (who is 23 and had the art show at the Center), is “getting” Jonathan’s mom’s house in Topsham as well.
It’s a lovely home built in 1932 by Thomas Michaud. (And yes, they were related to the Michaud Market family way back when.) Betsy Edgerton later bought the house in 1993 and just sold it to me last month. It was the first house she ever owned on her own and I realized it is the first house I have ever owned by myself as well. (So I guess I am finally “adulting” too!). I’m renting it to Daphne and her partner Desmond Babbidge who moved in this month, and are thrilled with having a house and all the joys and responsibilities that come along with it (with me there to help in a pinch!)
And Betsy is equally as thrilled to keep it in the family with fresh-faced, younger folks “To perk it up a bit,” she said. Like Daphne, she too was an artist, and Daphne plans to keep all of the artwork, sculptures, mobiles, and drawings Betsy left for her in the house. Betsy’s favorite place was the screened-in front porch with the porch swing and comfy sofa. And Daphne can’t wait to settle in there with Desmond this fall and watch the sunset over the river.
Additionally, Jonathan and his sister Louisa are inheriting the ownership of Betsy’s beautiful, historical cottage at Ocean Point on the coast of Maine. The small house is lovingly called “Solid Comfort,” and it has provided that since it was built in 1877. It was purchased by Jonathan‘s great-great-grandfather in 1883, so we celebrated 140 years of ownership of the solidly built little cottage this past summer. The cottage has provided a place of respite and relaxation for generations of the Pettengill and Edgerton families.
Jonathan’s parents bought the small house in May 1968, and the cottage has seen a lot of Jonathan’s family come and go. Fourteen decades of ownership means that a lot of people have slept under the roof, fried eggs there in the morning, rocked a baby there at night, and filled the house with laughter for all the hours in between.
It was an idyllic situation for Jonathan and his siblings as they grew up in a time when their mother was able to be home with them. So Jonathan, his brother and his sister would roll off the school bus on the last day of school and off they went to East Boothbay for the next three months. A few days before school started they would load the dog back into the car and head home with the memories of the summer months at Ocean Point still fresh in their minds; the smell of the ocean in their noses and the salt on their tongues.
Betsy has loved every moment of owning the cottage for the last 55 years. She spent idyllic summers there with her family, fed her children, and watched them grow. And I know it is with love and pride that she is able to transfer emotional ownership of the property to her children. It is also, of course, with love and pride that they receive it.
And so it is an interesting journey to either purchase or inherit a home from a parent. Especially when it’s a home in which you lived. There’s a sense of respectful preservation while also making it your own. Just as Jonathan‘s parents adopted the cottage and updated it for their needs and tastes, Jonathan and his sister Louisa are slowly doing the same. And we got started on that over the summer when Jonathan decided that the floors, all of which are original to the cottage, needed a fresh coat of paint.
Jonathan picked a gray/tan color to brighten things up and I dubbed it “Gran”, as a nod to his mother, who has been called that by her grandchildren all their lives. So as we painted Gran’s cottage this summer, it felt to me that with every stroke of the paintbrush we were hearing the footfalls of the generations before us, the hundreds of people who have come and gone through to the cottage — in Victorian lace-up boots or bare sandy feet — always happy and “solidly comfortable” in their home. Their place of rest and relaxation with family.
So as we continue to ride this rambling river of life, we are honored to continue our family traditions of home ownership and to pass these amazing houses and memories through the generations of our children and on to theirs as well. I can’t wait to hear the pitter-patter of my grandbabies’ sandy little feet in the cottage or see them on the porch swing at the Topsham house and know that it will be this way for generations to come.
Stacy Frizzle-Edgerton is executive director of People Plus in Brunswick.
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