The law is very clear about when a child becomes an adult: on your 18th birthday for most things, and 21 to consume alcohol.
Our two kids, however, used to tell us they were “adulting” when they opened their first bank accounts or went shopping after moving into their first apartments.
They were amused by it. It wasn’t an age thing. It was a behavior that marked passing minor milestones in their lives. But maturing into adulthood is a process that takes time for everyone.
Some kids can “adult” when they’re still in middle school, while for others, transforming into an adult never really happens. Some kids are traumatically forced into adult roles when their parental family collapses, disappears or never existed. Tough, but not impossible.
The teens we work with at Homeless Resources for Youth (HRY) are often facing challenges they’re ill-equipped to handle at first. This is when our host home partners can really make a difference. By gently modeling “adult” behavior and defining their expectations of their HRY guests, HRY hosts make the transition to adult maturity smoother. But it can take time and patience.
Learning how to do homework without their cellphones, or just doing simple household chores can seem unreasonable or even cruel.
So, kind discussions about whether their priorities are realistic and asking them to consider other needs — like finding positive friendships with their peers, graduating, finding work and meeting your simple expectations of household tidiness (this is a tough one!) are essential to their success If you’re willing to take on this challenge, we need to talk!
Please contact me at housingresourcesforyouth@gmail.com.
Giving Voice is a weekly collaboration among four local nonprofit service agencies to share information and stories about their work in the community. Pam Gormley is executive director of Housing Resources for Youth.
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