Stonehenge has been a source of fascination for centuries. Now, an archaeologist claims to have uncovered the structure’s real purpose. It was a site for the community’s annual yard sale.
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All people die suddenly. But some people die unexpectedly. Too many of them are people who intended to change their wills so that so-and-so would be sure to get this and that. They have made promises that they don’t keep: “Don’t worry, Bob. I intend to give you the shore lot and I’ll make sure that you get it.”
But they put off changing their wills. Which creates problems. If Bob has anything on the ball and has seen what happened to his friends who were promised this and that – and then didn’t get it – Bob will fetch a sheet of paper and a pen and say, “Let’s put what you just said in writing, Pa. We’ll have the milkman witness it when he comes by.”
My nephew was promised a house by his father’s elderly cousin. It generated a warm, fuzzy feeling. But knowing that warm fuzz is about as useful as fog, the kid trotted out a pen and a deed and the old man signed it over to him while he was still sound of mind and body.
Crude, you say? There are more than a few people in this state of Maine who wish they’d got something in writing from an elderly parent or loved one when it was possible.
Over and over, you and I have heard the stories: “My father said that he intended to change his will so that I got my grandfather’s watch. I don’t know why he didn’t do it.”
It is human nature to put off some things. And making or updating a will, as many a disappointed heir will tell you, is right up there at the top.
Even if you are not old, if you own property you should have an updated will.
I’ve updated my will several times over the years. Fifteen years ago, when Marsha’s grandchildren were 5 or 6 years old, I told them that the oldest one was going to inherit my farm. If two people inherit a farm, too often it is sold and the proceeds shared equally. I wanted to keep the farm in the family as long as I could. So I didn’t leave it to my wife or her children. I spared two generations of jumping through the legal hoops of inheritance and gave it to the oldest grandchild. It is in writing. She will, I hope, let her grandmother and parents live out their lives here. But they’d better get something from her in writing while they are still putting her through college.
I’ve done my best to do what I think is best for Marsha’s family. For 15 years, Marsha’s children and grandchildren have known what is in my will. There will be no surprises with indignant cries of “What about my share?” I can do no more.
At least two people who read this will run into the who-gets-what business within a year. That’s years before they expected to. So I’ve written this for you, my friend, that you might be moved to do something now that will spare you some unnecessary grief later.
A woman who is 82 recently said, “None of my four kids … wants this house. So on the rare visits, each one gets to choose what they want. I’ll be consulting with a law office soon and the lists will be recorded in my will.”
If that didn’t make you smile, you’ve got a lot to learn.
And why go to a law office? Write it out yourself and get a couple of good, and hopefully young, friends to witness it. If you like, you can change it the following week. Many people have been taught that only papers drawn up by a lawyer are legal. My brother wrote his own will, only one neighbor signed it, and I can tell you that even though it was outdated by 19 years (he gave away property that he no longer owned and money that he no longer had – some to people who no longer lived), it was rock-solid legal.
The prospect of dying fills me with guilt. I know there will be a huge family battle over who gets the bulk of my wealth. Just for starters, here by my desk there are two unopened blocks of printer paper.
The humble Farmer can be heard Friday nights at 7 on WHPW (97.3 FM) and visited at:
www.thehumblefarmer.com/
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