Our rewarding relationship with Erica Berry, a native of Portland, Oregon, began when she entered Bowdoin in the fall of 2010. Mature behind her years, Erica didn’t really need a “host family,” but she seemed to like us, and we sure enjoyed watching her compile a superb record at Bowdoin: Phi Beta Kappa, Editor of the Bowdoin Orient, winner of several academic awards, etc.
Sometimes we’d take Erica and her friends out for dinner or gelato. We met her parents and sister during a Bowdoin Family Weekend. Her father called one time to ask if we’d visit her in the hospital, which we did. We introduced Erica and her brainy buddies to Fictionary, one of our favorite word games.
Erica used the porch at our summer house during her senior year to work on her honors project. Essays written for that project and during the ensuing years have evolved into the creation of a book entitled, “Wolfish: Wolf, Self and the Stories We Tell About Fear” to be published on Feb. 21, 2023 (Flatiron Books).
We visited Erica in Edinburgh, Scotland, during the spring semester of her junior year; in Sicily where she spent a year after graduation creating a documentary for the Anna Tasca Lanza Cooking School; and at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis where she was an MFA Fellow in Creative Nonfiction.
We claim zero credit for Erica’s success; she was destined to be a superstar, wherever she went to college and whomever she met along the way. During a recent phone conversation, however, she said that she values our friendship and our willingness to have served as a sounding board over the years when she’s been navigating through various personal relationships.
That recent phone conversation resulted from an interesting experience Erica had had at her new home in Portland, Oregon. While planning a party for many of her young friends, she decided to invite an older man who lived in the neighborhood. She wasn’t sure how it would work out, but he had a fine time and her friends really liked having him there. Erica wrote about it on Instagram, and got an extraordinary response, mainly from people around her age (late 20s, early 30s)
Apparently, younger people love the idea of being friends with people from older generations. They think older people don’t want to be around them. Sadly, older people often don’t think younger people want to be around old folks. Everyone loses as a result of these false assumptions.
The Guardian asked Erica to write an article about the intergenerational friendship phenomenon so she asked if she could interview us. I, of course, said I’d interview her at the same time, as the topic would be appropriate for this column. So, we happily took turns firing questions at each other.
Tina and I have thoroughly enjoyed the friendship we have developed with Bowdoin students through the Host Family Program over many years; we have kept up with most of them after they graduate. We like getting to know how young people think and behave. They say they appreciate our support and mentorship. (As an added bonus from the older person’s perspective, it’s nice not to have to discuss health issues all the time.) Incidentally, the parents of our host students think we do a lot more for them then we really do. I guess they’re comforted to know we’re here in an emergency or for any other reason.
Whenever our students thank us profusely for something, we just say, “Pay it forward.” And I know they will.
We’ve also benefitted from having two granddaughters at Bowdoin; Emma Barker is a sophomore; Karis Treadwell is a senior. It’s been fun asking currents students if they know Emma or Karis. Often, they do.
Many readers already know how rewarding it can be to have friendships with younger people. If you’re not one of those readers, do reach out and see what happens. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.
On a final note, Eric Berry will be visiting Bowdoin in April to give a talk and meet with some students. We will be there to cheer her on. And keep an eye out for her book when it hits the local bookstores. You’ll be most impressed.
David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns. dtreadw575@aol.com.
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