The other day, when the British Parliament voted to reject the Brexit “path to self-destruction,” someone wrote on my Facebook page that it was a case of buyer’s remorse.
Buyer’s remorse is too common in our world, and, some might argue, unnecessary.
We read that 40 to 50 percent of U.S. marriages end up in divorce because half of us jump into marriage without thinking.
Many parents would have not a worry today had they been allowed to select marriage partners for some of their children.
If you don’t believe it, ask them.
Divorce may be defined as buyer’s remorse with a vengeance.
By the same token, too many voters are like starry-eyed youngsters who leap before they look.
Would people lead happier lives if they no longer voted against the political party that their father and grandfather hated – and voted instead for a better lifestyle?
Because many people don’t even know what the political party of their grandfather now stands for, voting for a lifestyle would not be skewed by years of irrational or misguided prejudice but would give voters the life that they want for themselves and their children.
Without smiling faces on the ballot, voters would finally have a chance to vote for something – instead of against someone.
The ballot could contain as many as 50 or 60 statements and questions that must be answered with “yes” or “no,” or it might be refined to the point where a dozen would do.
Yes-or-no questions give lawyers fits. Ask some lawyers in this country if they would shoot their mother, and they’d ask for time to think about it. Luckily, lawyers constitute only a small part of the population and can be discounted here.
As any teacher will tell you, fill-in-the-boxes yes-or-no tests are much easier to tabulate than three-page essays.
The questions and statements on our proposed ballot might look like this. Please remember that they must all be answered with “yes” or “no.”
1. Do you want to live in a society that guarantees that you will never go hungry?
2. Do you want to live in a society where you can be dragged from your home at 2 a.m. and shot without being given a trial? 3 a.m.?
3. Do you want to live in a society that enables you to retire without worry, no matter where you were on the pay scale, after you’ve worked hard and paid your taxes for 40 years?
4. Do you want to live in a society where you can only shrug your shoulders and smile when your rich neighbor steals your cow?
5. A 26-year-old widow who shows up at the southern border with two children and asks for asylum is probably up to no good.
6. In an ideal world, my neighbors would have Norwegian passports.
7. Border walls are a waste of money because technology has made them obsolete.
8. Border walls are a waste of money because we should simply invade and annex neighboring countries.
9. Four weeks of paid vacation sounds good to me.
10. The CEO of my company gets 271 times the salary I do because he is 271 times smarter than I am.
11. Last Thanksgiving, Grandma sold the turkey and gave us each a Big Mac.
Although these are only samples, you see what we are talking about here. The yes-or-no results to each question would be posted. The one with the most yeses would obviously be the topic that meant the most to voters. There would no longer be any political parties with hidden agendas to suddenly creep out of the woodwork and generate chaos.
Because the yes-or-no results not only would be posted but also would be foremost in everyone’s mind, a leader who served his guests McDonald’s hamburgers instead of lobster Newburg – just to get a few extra minutes on prime-time television – would immediately be removed and replaced by the No. 2 candidate.
This revolutionary new system of balloting would go a long way toward eliminating buyer’s remorse two years down the road. Politics would be left out of the voting equation, and the candidate whose own views came closest to those of the people would win. Voters would get the society they wanted.
In this best of all possible worlds, the country would be free from a daily crisis, “Saturday Night Live” would go out of business and NASCAR crashes would be the only horrible thing left on the evening news.
The humble Farmer can be heard Friday nights at 7 on WHPW (97.3 FM) and visited at:
www.thehumblefarmer.com/MainePrivateRadio.html
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