I’ll be honest, I thought it was an Onion article. There could be no way anyone would suggest that a mother carry pH strips in her bag to test the water at a public swimming pool. But this wasn’t the Onion. It was Parents.com, and when people started sharing the article, I got angry.
The article stems from a recent CDC report — also disappointing — that came to the conclusion that public swimming can be so harmful to children’s health, parents should test the water first. The CDC report states that during a 14-year timespan, there were 27,219 illnesses and eight deaths caused by bacteria found in pools. Potentially even more frightening: 1-in-3 swimming related illnesses are caused by hotel pools, striking fear into the heart of any parent (which is all of them) whose kid’s favorite part of a vacation is the pool. This new bacteria fear is on top of all the very real warnings about drownings, diving-board safety and other aquatic accidents.
I’ve had two children come very close to drowning. I can assure you that the pH balance of a pool — or river or lake — has never been high on my list of worries. (Related: How did any of us children from the late- 70s and ’80s survive our childhoods … and the neighbor’s pool?)
The CDC offers a pre-swimming checklist that includes 12 items. That’s before anyone gets into the pool. Once you are in the water, they have a checklist of eight items to maintain your safety.
Don’t get me wrong. Many of these warnings are common sense: Look for a lifeguard. Don’t pee in the water. Apply sunscreen. But some of the warnings — like pulling out a pH strip and checking the water first — aren’t.
My kids are older and experienced swimmers now, but I still remember what it’s like to take a toddler to the pool. You can barely slather sunscreen on their wiggling, slippery bodies before they are running for the pool and a lifeguard is blowing a whistle at them for not walking. Meanwhile, you’re unpacking snacks, towels and a change of clothes. And then there’s the goggles. Kids always need their goggles adjusted and readjusted until the rubber band in the back snaps. There are rafts to inflate and beach balls to blow up.
Who, in the middle of all of this, is asking their kids to sit quietly in a chair while they test the pH balance of the pool water?
Again, is this a smart thing to do? Probably. Do kids get sick from pool water? Yes. But in the bigger scheme of things, there are more urgent things to worry about — like applying sunscreen and watching for signs of drowning. Many more people have died from skin cancer or drowning than have been injured by bacteria in pool water.
So why do we needlessly burden mothers with these worries and expectations if the risk of any harm is so minute?
You could argue that magazines with a niche focus like “young children” is constantly reaching for new headlines to attract readers. But at what cost? Or you could argue that Parents is simply relaying important information from the CDC. In either case, the end result is the same: Parents — and in particular, mothers — are increasingly burdened with more requirements to be “the best” while raising children.
We used to push the same fear of inadequacy in women’s magazines in the 1950s. Back then, however, the targeted insecurity was different. Advertisements and articles focused on how to be the best wife — or else your husband might leave you. There were instructions on how to make the best, most husband-pleasing dinners; how to dress when your man came home; and exactly when to offer him a cocktail after work.
Of course, women today laugh at these ideas. No one is catering to their husband when he comes home from work. No one fears judgment based on their pot roast or martinis. No one thinks their husband will leave them if they are in sweatpants in the evening. In fact, there is now a whole market for essays that do just the opposite of the 1950s genre: they instruct women to be independent from their husbands.
But we’ve replaced the old idea of subserviency to husbands with subserviency to our children. We are still bound and chained to the home, just not for fear of screwing up our marriage. Today we are afraid of screwing up motherhood. And someday, with the gift of hindsight, our children’s children will look back and realize how ridiculous that was.
So get the pH strips if you must, but if you have all you can handle remembering the sunscreen and making sure your toddler doesn’t fall into the deep end, just know you are doing well.
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