Martin spoke about seeing parents yelling at both officials and coaches at youth games. While that part of Martin’s rant is interesting — and, in a lot of cases, 100 percent accurate — what stood out to me most was what he said about parents trying to coach their kids from the stands.
“I’m the most animated coach that you’ve probably ever seen when my team is playing. I go watch my kids play, I don’t say boo. I don’t waive my arms, I don’t try and coach my kids,” Martin said. “With all due respect to most parents out there, I probably know more about basketball than most of them. But I sit in stands and I don’t say a word. I don’t try and tell my kid how they should play.”
Even if Martin’s sons came to him for advice during a game — or complained to him after a game — he would quickly point them back to their coaches.
“You know what I tell my two boys when they come ask me? I say, ‘Why are you asking me? I didn’t run your practice, go talk to your coach. Don’t talk to me about your coach, because if you are you’re not playing basketball. If you don’t understand why you didn’t play better, go talk to your coach. I’m not your coach, I’m your dad. If somebody disrespects you then I’m here. If you fail, good. Deal with it. I’m going to help you get up. But don’t come talk to me about coaching. I do this for a living. I’m not going to criticize the guy that is trying to help you.’”
Parents from all across the country, in every sport and at all levels should take what Martin said above to heart.
I have witnessed parents trying to coach their kids throughout my life. When I was playing baseball in Little League and in high school, I saw my teammates getting instructions from our coaches and then different advice from their parents.
When I was coaching high school baseball in Pennsylvania I could sit in the dugout and hear parents yelling out directions to players on the field. Of course I had my share of parents telling me I didn’t know what the (bleep) I was doing, but coaches can handle that. I believe having people that aren’t on the coaching staff trying to tell the student-athletes what to do during a game is much more troublesome.
In my nearly 18 years of covering sports at different newspapers I have witnessed parents coaching their kids from the bleachers pretty much on a weekly basis. Some are more subtle than others, but if a student-athlete spends even a second of a game looking into the stands because they are trying to get instructions from their parent, it’s a problem.
There are definitely some parents who are former athletes themselves and absolutely have the background and knowledge to be helpful to their sons or daughters. But that doesn’t mean it’s good for the kids to hear one thing from their coaches and something entirely different from their dad or mom during a game.
It’s obvious that what every parent wants is to see their kids succeed, and parents play a crucial role from youth sports through high school. But that role should have some limits — and it should be, above all else, about giving unlimited support to the kids.
Without the help of their parents, most kids wouldn’t be able to succeed in sports. Parents have to sacrifice time — and plenty of money — to help their kids pursue their athletic dreams.
Financial support and transportation are certainly not the only types of help parents can give their young athletes. It’s always awesome to drive by a house in the summer and see kids playing catch or hoops with their parents.
If a parent knows a ton about the sport their kid is playing by all means watch film with them after games and pass that knowledge down. But parents also need to preach to their kids the importance of listening to and respecting their actual coaches during practices and games.
It’s obviously always a great thing when parents want to be more involved in their kids’ lives, but sometimes it’s important to take a step back and let the coaches do their jobs.
— Sports Editor Pat McDonald can be reached at pmcdonald@journaltribune.com or at 282-1535 ext. 322. Follow the Journal Tribune Sports Department on Twitter @JournalTsports.
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