Fred Durst, an avid sailor, active churchgoer, and volunteer at The Center for Grieving Children in Portland for more than 25 years, died March 27 after a brief illness. He was 86.
He was remembered by family and friends last week as a loving, compassionate and gregarious man who had a profound impact on many people’s lives.
Mr. Durst was a dedicated volunteer at The Center for Grieving Children since the early days of its founding. He served as a grief facilitator, team coordinator, a board member and key fundraiser. He was also a mentor to the center’s staff and volunteers. For most of his years of service, he volunteered alongside his wife, Marilyn Durst, who died in 2008. Just before she died, the couple were presented with the center’s first Bill Hemmens Award in recognition of 20 years of service.
Anne Lynch, executive director of the center, said one of Mr. Durst’s greatest gifts was his ability to listen and hear others.
“He had a huge connection to so many people – not only at the center, but in the community as well,” Lynch said. “He was a great light within the organization. Many hearts at the center are very heavy right now.”
Mr. Durst seemed to have an effect on everyone he met. An Ohio native, he served in the U.S. Navy as an aviator from 1952 to 1956. He worked for East Ohio Gas Co., then at Eberhard Manufacturing company as managing director.
Mr. Durst’s career led him to Portland in 1978. He became director at Danforth Marine Products. He held the post for about seven years before the company was sold in 1985.
He was married to his first wife for 27 years and raised three children. He was married to his second wife, Marilyn Durst, for about 33 years. She had two children from a previous marriage.
Scott Durst, the oldest of his children, shared many stories about his father’s fierce devotion to family and friends. He described him Friday as a passionate and emotional man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He expressed gratitude for his father’s constant support through his three deployments to Bosnia, Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 30 years, as well as his years of service with the Portland Police Department and Maine Drug Enforcement Agency.
“He would call me quite a bit. ‘Hey Scotty boy, it’s your old dad calling. Just checking in,’ ” Scott Durst said, recalling his father’s messages. “He was always there, always checking in. … He worried a lot. He would say, ‘You’re not going back. You’re not doing this again.’ Then, he would shake his head and say, ‘OK. This is the last time.’ His support was huge.”
Mr. Durst extended that level of support to many.
Ted Hatch, a police officer for the Gorham Police Department, said Mr. Durst was like a father to him.
“He took me under his wing professionally and personally. He had this ability to sense what you needed. I would not be doing what I’m doing now if it wasn’t for him. No question,” Hatch said.
Mr. Durst was a member of the Portland Yacht Club for 29 years. He sailed throughout Casco Bay on the The Marilyn. He also sailed often on Kezar Lake, where he and his wife had a cottage. He was a longtime member of the Foreside Community Church in Falmouth. He served as a deacon, and as co-chair of its worship committee.
Lynn Foley, his daughter-in-law, said, “He touched so many lives.”It’s very rare to find someone with that capacity.”
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