Are you a hypocritical jerk?
If you haven’t considered that possibility, you should. If it turns out you’re an obnoxious hypocrite, people may be talking about you behind your back and plotting to steal your credit card information.
Wait, that’s if you’re a paranoid jerk.
If you’re the sort of jerk who’s willing to sacrifice your principles for expediency, people are more likely to tell you to your face or – if they’re less courageous – in a political column. Which doesn’t mean they’re not stealing your credit card info. It just means they’re doing it because they don’t like stinking hypocrites.
To clear up any confusion, here’s a simple quiz that reveals how much of a fraud you are.
1. Do you support Republican Gov. Paul LePage’s budget plan to expand and raise the state sales tax and use the revenue to reduce the income tax and eliminate the estate tax?
2. Did you support a similar proposal passed by legislative Democrats in 2009 that was overwhelmingly repealed by a GOP-led People’s Veto campaign in 2010?
3. Did you back another such measure put forward in 2013 by a group of moderate legislators called the “Gang of 11” to reduce taxes on income and increase them on consumption?
Here’s how to interpret the results. If you answered “yes” to all three questions, you’re not a hypocrite. You’ve displayed a consistent, nonpartisan belief in reforming Maine’s tax structure. Strangely, if you answered “no” to every question, you’re also not a hypocrite. You’re standing firm for a revenue system that, despite its flaws, has the advantage of … um … well, I can’t think of any, off hand. So you’re an idiot, but that’s still better than being a weasel.
In both cases, you’re almost certainly not an elected official. Because nearly all of them (including LePage) would have to admit they backed at least one of these ideas while opposing the others. In other words, they made their decisions based not on the merits of the plans (which are similar), but on edicts from political bosses.
This isn’t the first time tax reform has been derailed by hypocrisy. In the 1980s, Republicans favored shifting the tax burden from levies on income to surcharges on sales. Democrats were opposed. By the turn of the century, the two sides had switched positions, not so much for ideological reasons as because if one party was for it, the other felt obligated to be against it.
LePage’s version of tax reform is more honest than the Democrats’ 2009 effort and more comprehensive than the Gang of 11’s nonstarter two years ago. Both those proposals claimed to be revenue neutral – although the Dem plan actually resulted in a tax hike. The LePage initiative promises $275 million in tax cuts, but a lot of them won’t show up for years. The Dems (specifically then-Gov. John Baldacci) made deals with special interests such as lawyers and the ski industry that resulted in lawsuits and lift tickets maintaining their tax exemptions. LePage wants to slap a sales tax on legal services and leisure activities across the board. The Gang – aware that angry voters not only shot down the Democrats’ tax bill, but also threw many of its prominent supporters out of office – hesitated to meddle with income tax deductions, such as the one for home-mortgage interest. LePage, unconcerned about re-election, wants to do away with that tax break and others.
In short, LePage’s plan is more daring and thorough than its predecessors. Anybody who backed those flawed efforts should be wildly enthusiastic about what the governor wants to do.
So how come nobody is?
For Democrats, it’s a chronic inability to agree with LePage on anything, a failing due mostly to the governor’s crude personal style. Legislative insiders say that as the session wears on, the donkey party may quietly support his tax plan, always being careful to use LePage’s substantial bulk as cover. That way, they could end up with much of what they hoped to accomplish back in ’09, minus the political backlash of ‘10.
For Republicans, it’s more complicated. Lots of them got elected solely because they opposed the Dems’ plan. Lots of them have a visceral aversion to anything remotely resembling a tax increase. Lots of them feel betrayed by LePage, but lack the guts to openly oppose him. They’re looking for someplace to hide until this thing blows over.
As a result, nearly everyone in Augusta is practicing hypocrisy like they’re planning to try out for the Olympic hypocrisy team. The one political figure who hasn’t succumbed is nowhere near the state capital. Charlie Webster, former state chairman of the GOP and the leader of the 2010 repeal effort, is back repairing furnaces in Farmington. In an interview with the Associated Press, Webster said LePage has launched an “attack on the very people” that brought Republicans to power.
We should test Webster’s blood for antibodies against hypocrisy. And for the bacteria that causes cluelessness.
If reading this was too taxing, complain by emailing aldiamon@herniahill.net.
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