So perhaps you remember that I wrote about Dupuis Hardware about a week ago and the terribly hard time they have been having as a result of the construction going on for months here in downtown Biddeford. Another locally owned business that is struggling with this is Quinn’s Bike Shop, just a couple of doors down from Dupuis.
I stopped in and saw Mike Cadorette, the owner of the shop, and it was obvious he was going through the same thing: the loss of nearly all of his business. The road is closed where he is, and I was only able to get there by parking on Main Street and walking over to his Elm Street location. It was only about 50 yards and took me as many seconds to walk, but the road closing was killing his business. No one was showing up. In fact, I stopped back both Thursday and Friday, and he had a sign on the door indicating that there was no reason to stay open while the road was closed.
I am going to make the same appeal I did a week ago: If you have any biking needs, please call them to make sure they are open and then support them with your purchases. Mike is a nice guy, and downtown Biddeford is much stronger with his business intact. ‘Nuff said.
Enough is Enough
As many of you would agree, I think, there is plenty of negative news out there. I don’t know if there is any more than there used to be. I grew up having to do bomb drills in school in case the Soviets attacked us, and my grandfather would shout daily as he read the paper, “The country is going to the dogs,” which I took meant that there was lots of bad news in the paper. So I try to focus on positive things that are happening, or positive things that can happen, like my appeal in the above part of my column this week.
However, just as life is not entirely negative, it is not perfect either. And sometimes I feel as if I just need to address a particular issue that, although isn’t pleasant, requires speaking out about.
Domestic violence is a complicated matter, and I’m certainly not trying to explain it all here. What I am doing is making an appeal, yes another one, about an issue of great importance. Recently, I have heard of several cases of domestic violence, and I simply must speak out. Americans in general, and Mainers in particular, value our privacy and try to respect that of others.
Having said that, when a family is in trouble ”“ that is, when the father and husband is out of control, whether he has reason to be or not, and is committing acts of violence against his wife and/or children ”“ I strongly believe that we have an obligation to do something about it. I’m not suggesting that we go rushing into the house to save them. Some of us are brave enough to do that, but at least we can all call the police. And my fellow men, when we are with other men and someone comments about hurting his family, let’s not laugh about it. It’s not funny. Not even a little. We have influence over each other. When we men stand idly by while one jokes about wanting to commit acts of violence against his wife or children, never mind sharing the details of the last time he did it, we are not acting as men. We are weak and pathetic.
We must change our culture and it must come from men. Just because we were brutalized does not mean we are destined to do the same. My father brutalized me unmercifully as a boy, and I have never laid a hand on my wife or daughter. I have never even threatened to do so. It’s not that I am so great, but somehow, I found some good role models in my adulthood and learned what it meant to be a man.
Most abusers need help. They are in pain. They are suffering. And they need to learn other ways of dealing with their own self-doubt, hatred, fear and perhaps even hopelessness. But knowing that they, too, were victims at one time and that they need our assistance to become better men, does not mean we should or can tolerate them victimizing others. The only way we will break the cycle of violence is for us all to have no tolerance for it. Enough is enough.
— Bruce M. Hardina is the publisher of the Journal Tribune, a business and marketing consultant, a singer/songwriter, a philosopher, a student of life and the human experience, a columnist, an entrepreneur, a loving father, husband, son, brother, neighbor and friend. To comment on my musings, email me at bhardina@journaltribune.com or mail a note to Journal Tribune, Attn: Bruce Hardina, 457 Alfred St., Biddeford. ME 04005.
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