I stink at shopping for Father’s Day gifts, although that’s probably due to a lack of practice.
It’s been four full decades since I’ve gotten a decent present for my dad. But I’ve finally figured out what to get the man who literally needs nothing: a voice! And thanks to a marathon Ouija Board session, William S. Young (1923-74) is finally getting the chance to share his lifetime’s worth of collected wisdom with the world, or at least a tiny part of it.
People nowadays are too self-indulgent, I’m afraid. The planet’s getting warmer, yet every day people wait, engines running, at drive-up windows to grab processed-sugar-and-fat-laden “fast food” they’ll eat on the go when they ought to be exercising.
And what’s with “storage facilities?” Americans have too much stuff! In my day, the family storage facility was the closet. If there was space for something there, great! If not, we threw it out, or if it was still functional gave it to someone who could use it.
But I digress. Here are some simple rules that, if followed faithfully, will contribute to living a more fulfilling life:
Rule Number One: Treat people the way you want to be treated. Listen when others speak. Look them in the eye. Tell the truth. Smile at strangers. Help those in need. Pick up after yourself. If you’re young and healthy, park as far as you can from the grocery store. You’ll benefit from the extra distance you’ll walk, plus you’ll accumulate plenty of good karma by leaving the closer spots for those who really need them. Everyone (with the possible exception of clinically identified masochists) should abide by The Golden Rule.
Rule Number Two: Think before you act. If it’s a need, do everything morally, ethically and legally in your power to take care of it. But for a want, think hard about how long you had to work to earn the money the item(s) in question will cost. Then think again. And again. Better impulse control and a little education about the dangers of addiction would virtually eliminate alcoholism, smoking-related illnesses, tooth decay, obesity and diabetes. Casinos and lotteries wouldn’t exist, and celebrated athletes and performers wouldn’t command more money in a year than what the average nurse, firefighter, police officer or teacher earn in their combined lifetimes.
Rule Number Three: Waste not, want not. Eat everything on your plate. Shut the lights off. Go easy on the heat during winter, and on artificial cooling in summer. Cut down on unnecessary car trips. Reduce. Re-use. Recycle.
Rule Number Four: Do nice things for others. You don’t need a reason; just do them on general principles. Even better, do your good deed(s) when no one’s watching. Shovel someone else’s driveway. Pay a stranger’s toll. Put your neighbor’s trashcans back in her garage. No one knew I tithed for my entire adult life, but the satisfaction I got from helping others bought me far more than all the money I gave away ever could have.
Rule Number Five: Be patient. You won’t master everything on the first, second or even third attempt. It’s OK to fail, especially if you’ve tried your hardest. And don’t speed through yellow lights! What will you do with the 10 seconds you save by putting yourself, those riding with you, and random strangers in other vehicles at risk?
Rule Number Six: Avoid video screens. Their misuse and overuse (particularly by the young) discourages initiative, impedes imagination and devalues literacy skills while simultaneously encouraging and even glorifying laziness, greed, envy and instant gratification. Had cable television and YouTube been around when the Bible was written, it’s likely there would have been eight deadly sins.
Rule Number Seven: Be true to your spiritual beliefs (or non-belief). If Islam, Catholicism, Protestantism, Judaism, Buddhism, atheism or any other ”“ism(s) helps you and those around you live by Rule Number One, then keep it up. But don’t subscribe to any belief system that derides other faiths. If you call yourself a “fundamentalist” anything, calm down.
Rule Number Eight: Don’t fear long-term independence. Sure, most people would love to be in a long-term relationship with an attractive, thoughtful, sensitive soul mate. But that doesn’t always happen right away (or at all). Being independent and single is infinitely preferable to being with Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong.
Rule Number Nine: Do what you love and love what you do. Enjoying your job and your co-workers makes the pay a bonus; you’ll learn to live within your means. If you toil solely for the money, you’ll just have more expensive problems than your happier (and spiritually wealthier) peers.
There is no Rule Number 10. I’m tithing in the afterlife as well, and there are less fortunate spirits who might need an extra rule to hand down to their descendants.
— An English teacher at a local high school, Andy Young works hard at living by all of his dad’s rules. On maybe three days each calendar year, he actually succeeds.
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