A friend with whom I carpool recently told me I never finish my thoughts. She says it’s sometimes frustrating conversing with me.
I was offended. It’s like she thinks having more than one thought at a time is a bad thing.
The term “multi-tasking” was probably coined by some Ph.D. who put decades into researching the length and breadth of the human attention span. But the word’s generally positive connotation likely originated from the marketing efforts of some psychology majors who lacked the ability to concentrate on a single job or issue for any length of time themselves.
Until recently, a website labeled “martinlutherking.org” existed, purportedly to educate young people about one of America’s great heroes. Handsomely illustrated with vintage photos of Dr. King, it billed itself as, “A valuable resource for teachers and students alike.” But in reality, it was anything but that.
I can’t believe how many people improperly dispose of soft drink containers. How tough is it to recycle them? I see discarded cans and bottles everywhere when I go for a walk, a run or a bike ride.
Some years ago, an older man I respected offered me some sage counsel: “Never trust a man who hates “The Three Stooges,” and never date a woman who likes them,” he intoned.
Russell Johnson died last week. He played “the Professor” on Gilligan’s Island. He could do a lot of things on that show, but fixing a hole in the S.S. Minnow effectively enough to get himself and six other castaways back to civilization apparently wasn’t one of them.
When I was in Guatemala a quarter-century ago, I watched TV in order to accelerate the rate at which I’d learn Spanish. I regularly tuned in to “Los Tres Chiflados.” The guys who dubbed the voices didn’t sound much like Moe, Larry or Curly, but the sound effects that occurred when one of the trio got slapped, hit by a sledgehammer, or walked into an iron girder sounded just as genuine as they did in English.
Martin-lutherking.org was created in 1995 by a former Ku Klux Klan Imperial Wizard who was hoping to spread the gospel of White Supremacy to a larger audience. The ordinary-looking site claimed Dr. King was a wife beater, a Communist, an adulterer, a plagiarist and an all-around sociopath.
It infuriates me when I see discarded soda bottles in a regular trash can, or on the ground right next to a clearly labeled recycling bin! What is wrong with people?
Before his stint on Gilligan’s Island, Russell Johnson was a character actor who usually played villains on TV westerns like “Gunsmoke” or “Wagon Train.” But according to his obituary in the New York Times, after three seasons playing the amiable Professor, Johnson couldn’t get any more bad-guy roles.
You know what would fix the whole recycling problem? Upping the deposit on returnable bottles and cans to 25 cents per container of bottled water and 50 cents for any returnable holding a libation containing alcohol, sugar and/or caffeine.
It’s my friend Brad’s birthday this week. He was born on the same date as my sister-in-law, but he’s 11 years younger than she is. Exactly.
Some years ago, I got a “persuasive essay” from a student advocating the re-installation of America’s incumbent president. Her chief reason: The windfall of profits his second four-year term would bring to the duct tape industry. The source of her mystifying contention was an article she obtained at theonion.com, a website devoted to lampooning news and American pop culture. Unfortunately, 15-year-old high school students aren’t the only ones unable to differentiate between actual facts and satire or propaganda, all of which are too-easily obtained electronically.
I thought the Three Stooges were funny when I was younger, but I think I’ve grown past them. I still wouldn’t date a woman who liked them, though. My wife would get really mad if I did.
With Russell Johnson’s death, the only surviving members of the Gilligan’s Island cast are Tina Louise (Ginger Grant) and Dawn Wells (Mary Ann). Maybe wearing lots of makeup is good for you. I wonder if any Ph.D.s have ever researched that? If so, I hope they didn’t use Internet sources like martinlutherking.org or theonion.com.
The bottling/soft drink/alcohol lobby would undoubtedly throw all their resources into defeating any proposed increase in the amount one pays as a deposit for a returnable can or bottle. They’d cry about “new taxes.” But it wouldn’t be a tax if people would just return the bottles!
Whoever thinks “easier” is a synonym for “better” hasn’t had to evaluate Internet-based “research” papers authored by high-school students.
I can’t wait for my ride to work tomorrow. My friend and I were having a great conversation yesterday. Now if only I could remember what it was about.
— Andy Young needs to renew his driver’s license soon. A high school English teacher, he made the Babe Ruth League all-star team as a 15-year-old, but didn’t get into any of the games. He enjoys visiting Canada, has three kids with long legs, and thinks the Smothers Brothers are really funny. He also has to renew his driver’s license soon.
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