Tolerance, forgiveness, generosity, and an extraordinary capacity for love were the hallmarks of the life of Mary Iris Stanfield Mackenzie who passed away on June 13, 2012 in her 90th year.
Born on September 4, 1922 in Mullica Hill, NJ, Stan—as she was known–was the daughter of Violet P. King and a father she never knew. Overwhelmed by the burdens of single parenthood, her young mother placed her in a foster home on a farm when she was a few weeks old. There she was raised in a life of strict constraints and hard labor, unable to hone the talents and intelligence with which she had been blessed.
At 16, she ran away from the farm and made her way to the city where she tracked down her birth mother, put aside the anger she was entitled to feel, and bravely initiated the more normal life she sought.
When World War II came, she enlisted in the Navy WAVEs and was assigned to a post in Washington, DC. On a blind date, she met a young Navy lieutenant from Lincoln, MA, a graduate of Bowdoin College and Harvard Business School. They had only a few days together before he returned to duty, but their romance blossomed quickly and on July 22nd, 1944 she married George H. Mackenzie and began a strong and happy marriage that lasted until his death in 1996.
After the war, they used the GI Bill to build a home in Wakefield, MA, later moving in 1956 to South Byfield, MA, and upon retirement to Stuart, FL. She spent the last 15 years of her life in Columbus, OH surrounded by the warmth of her broad acquaintance at Friendship Village.
Although neglect and occasional cruelty had been her lot as a child, Stan Mackenzie had little capacity for anger and none for retribution. She never bemoaned the fate that shaped her early life. She was instead too busy overcoming it with devotion to her family and her work, with friendships that lasted a lifetime, and with a love that bore neither conditions nor limits.
In a remarkable act of courage and strength, she built a compassionate relationship with her mother so that her sons could have the loving grandmother she never had. In this, as in so many things, she taught us by her sterling example how a good life should be lived.
She was a superwoman before the term was invented, up at dawn to make big breakfasts for her husband and sons, then off to her own jobs as a secretary and manager at the YMCA, the radio station, and the music school. And then home again after work to be a den mother, a mender of boys’ clothes, a fan, or just the person you could always talk to when you needed a sympathetic ear or wise counsel. And then, somehow, she managed to produce every night the most glorious dinners.
Stan Mackenzie had a keen zest for life and energy to match. She loved cooking and eating good food and never met a kitchen she couldn’t quickly adopt as her own.
She was a wonderful writer and a voracious reader. Her curiosity was boundless and she loved good conversation, even in later years when she was forced to participate mostly as a listener. The absence of the formal education she was denied could never disguise her deep intelligence. Her optimism and faith, so evident in all that she did, endured many challenges but never failed to triumph.
She leaves a large family, deeply grateful for the love she bestowed on us and the model of her goodness that has long been our guiding star. She is survived by her sons, G. Calvin Mackenzie, the Goldfarb Family Distinguished Professor of Government at Colby College, and his wife Sally of Brunswick, ME; and John M. Mackenzie, Head of Columbus Academy in Columbus OH, and his wife Susan Nybell.
Her grandchildren are Scott Mackenzie of Columbus, OH; Andrew Mackenzie of Fairfax, VA; Peter Mackenzie and his wife, Regina, of Falls Church, VA; and Rebecca Knight and her husband, David Bairstow, of Boston, MA.
The great-grandchildren whom she dearly loved are Samuel and Iain Mackenzie of Falls Church, VA, and Eliza and Emmeline Knight Bairstow of Boston, MA.
She was as well the senior member of a large extended family, all of whom will deeply miss her gentle presence at our gatherings—and her chocolate chip cookies.
Her many friends include especially Bob and Carolyn Bashaw of Naples, FL, Barbara Kovach of Portland, ME, and her good neighbors at Friendship Village.
A memorial service in honor of Stan Mackenzie will be held at Friendship Village at a time to be announced. She will be buried alongside her husband in the cemetery on Southport Island, ME, very near the spot where they spent their honeymoon 68 years ago.
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