Editor’s note: The following letters were written by Casco Bay High School sophomores in Scott Shibles’ Wellness class, following a unit on the causes and negative effects of dating violence among young people.
Given Gov. LePage’s State of the State address, one issue that has been on everyone’s mind is domestic violence. Not only adults are struggling with an abusive relationship. One in three high school students has been abused by their partner. It is important to recognize the warning signs and be able to leave the relationship if you’re in one. It is also important to provide help and support for someone you know who’s in an abusive relationship.
Additional Photos
Teen dating abuse is a serious problem and can result in depression, eating disorders, or even suicide or death. If you’re supporting the victim, acknowledge the problem, and respect their choices. However, the abuser also needs help. One of the best things you can do is model a healthy relationship for them. Something else you can do is to report what you see, educate yourself on early warning signs and know how to help.
It is important to reach out to a friend you believe is in an abusive relationship because they might be afraid to speak out themselves. As February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, this is the best time to learn what you can do to help.
Carley Doughty
Portland
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. In the U.S., one in three female teenagers in a dating relationship fears for her physical safety, and one in five teens has been hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. In the state of Maine, half of all homicides are related to domestic violence.
These types of statistics should not be tolerated. I believe that education around how to detect abusive relationships, and how to safely remove yourself or another from one, is extremely important information for all teenagers and their parents.
Dating violence is a delicate matter, and knowing how to effectively approach the topic with someone in the midst of such a relationship is not common knowledge. It is also important to understand that the abuser needs help just as much as the victim, and that while you really only hear about men abusing women, the opposite does happen and is no less dangerous and wrong.
Getting out of an abusive relationship is very difficult; getting in one is easy. We must educate teens so they can identify the signs of such a relationship as early as possible. The sooner you take action, the faster the results. Everyone should be aware of this issue.
Zoe Helmick
Portland
In Maine there are about 30,000 reports of domestic violence every year.
When I read this statistic, I was shocked. I thought nothing bad happened in Maine. I wasn’t aware that domestic violence was a problem. I was even more shocked to learn that more than 50 percent of deaths in Maine are domestic violence-related.
Dating violence is a growing problem, especially involving teens. I believe that we need to bring awareness to this situation and educate people so that teen dating violence can be abolished. Most teens who deal with dating violence suffer in silence and alone. This needs to stop.
Teen dating violence is being ignored. Eighty-one percent of parents admit that they think teen dating violence isn’t really an issue. This is crazy to me.
Dating violence can happen in any type of relationship and to anyone. One in four teens in the U.S. report that they have been physically abused. It can happen to anyone. Young women ages 16 to 24 are at the highest risk. The effects of dating abuse can lead to serious lifelong problems such as drug use, smoking, alcohol abuse, eating disorders and suicidal thoughts and attempts.
Dating violence is a growing problem that isn’t being dealt with in an effective way. We need to start educating our youth and spreading awareness about teen dating abuse. This is not just something that is going to go away by itself. You can’t just wish it away. We need to take action.
Paloma Sanchez
Portland
With one in five teens reporting being physically or emotionally abused by a partner, isn’t it time for our schools to begin placing greater emphasis on healthy relationships? Teen dating violence spans races, cultures, age groups and sexual orientation lines. To allow acts of violence to be perpetrated on our children is to condone it in our culture. We can’t allow this.
Recently, in my health class at Casco Bay High School, we discussed abuse in teen relationships, and how ignorant people are about these issues. Eighty-one percent of parents surveyed either do not believe that teen dating violence is an issue or admit that they don’t know if it is an issue.
This makes it clear that even adults find the information about teen dating violence hard to come by. As a high school student, I see many teen relationships. I know that many teens — including my friends — do not always understand how much is too much, and what is not okay; but after discussions in class about these serious issues, I hope that they will make the right decisions, and continue to promote healthy, non-abusive relationships throughout their lives.
Oliver Cope Nolan
Portland
In Maine, dating violence is the most common cause of injury to women, exceeding auto accidents, mugging and rape combined, and is the leading cause of homicide. Yet two-thirds of people involved in these relationships never speak out, and 90 percent of parents with teenagers in abusive relationships are unaware of their children’s situation.
The beginning of February marked the commencement of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. I believe we need to achieve more universal awareness in order to prevent more cases of domestic violence.
As a teenage girl, I find it difficult to ignore that 85 percent of dating abuse is directed toward women. This is a very real issue to my peers and me. Forty percent of Maine girls aged 14 to 17 report knowledge of a peer being beaten or hit by a partner, and an estimated 60,000 women are abused annually.
Quite frankly, these statistics terrify me. I don’t want myself, my friends or anyone to be in an abusive relationship. But statistically, one in five teenage girls will be abused in a relationship in their life.
However, it is important to acknowledge that this is not only a problem for women. In his State of the State address, Gov. Paul LePage touched upon his personal experience with abuse and how it has affected him, effectively cutting partisan borders to convey that domestic violence is an issue that we need to stop.
It is never acceptable to use force to control someone physically or emotionally. It is never acceptable to give abuse the guise of love. As a state and a society, we need to raise awareness of people suffering. We need to reduce dating abuse starting today by educating people about what it looks like and how to stop it.
Ava Koenigsberg
Portland
What does it mean to you that 33 percent of teens have witnessed some form of dating abuse? Teen dating abuse, sometimes known as intimate partner abuse, is much more prevalent than one might think.
There are huge negative side effects of dating violence that can impact the rest of the victim’s life. According to the Centers for Disease Control, these health issues include depression, eating disorders, alcohol abuse and the worst-case scenario, suicide. I believe everyone should be aware of the warning signs of dating abuse so the right people can be notified of the serious problem before it’s too late.
Over the past few days in Wellness Class at Casco Bay High School, we have been learning about teen dating violence, and I have discovered just how widespread dating violence really is.
Referring back to my opening statistic, I find this to be horrifying because it means one-third of teens either don’t recognize the warning signs of teen dating abuse or aren’t sure how to handle the situation.
This needs to be fixed, and I think it starts with people realizing there are many different forms of dating abuse and both the victim and abuser need help and support. It’s important to remember that the victim is never at fault, and should never be blamed for not being able to get out of the relationship.
I hope all teenagers and adults will have opportunities to learn about dating abuse, as I did. It would be beneficial for all teenagers to spend some time in class learning the warning signs and how to help those involved in teen dating abuse. I hope you take interest in this pressing problem and become educated so you can help, if not save, someone’s life.
Meghan Suslovic
Portland
It doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, male, female, wealthy or poor, any teenager can become a victim in an abusive relationship. It may be hard to believe, but one out of four high school students will be involved in an abusive relationship before graduating.
This statistic is astounding, and something needs to be done about it. Many students are not being taught the fundamentals of a healthy relationship. Schools need to prioritize dating violence prevention in their curriculum.
As a sophomore in high school, this is the first time that the subject of healthy relationships and teen dating violence has been taught to me. I had no idea that it was such a significant issue. If I hadn’t been taught dating violence prevention in school, I would not know what to do if I found myself in an abusive relationship.
Many students wouldn’t even know if they were in one, or how to get help, and that’s why the topic needs to be integrated into all high schools’ curriculum. By educating teenagers on how to identify abuse, they will know how to respond to it, and where they can go to get support. No teen should feel threatened or helpless while in a relationship.
Caroline Bennett
Portland
Send questions/comments to the editors.
