Winter of 2011 will be remembered, above all, for its refusal to quit. Tenacity may be a virtue in humans, but few of us admire it as a meteorological trait. And it can drive some people, like my friend, Jill, to extremes. Fed up with the persistent whiteness and unrelenting cold, she finally succumbed. In a moment of weakness, this die-hard gardener who abhors fakery in all its forms, bought herself silk flowers.
Winter had claimed yet another casualty ”“ the elitism of the garden snob.
Personally, I disagree with Jill on this front. I’m more of a situational gardener. While Mother Nature may be the undisputed source of greenery, heavy weather tends to cramp her style. That’s when I’m more than willing to take liberties ”“ when bleakness rules the landscape and sanity needs to prevail.
So there I was at a home furnishings store last week, toying with a tray of faux plants. By that, I mean bending their branches, tipping petals this way or that, and otherwise manipulating their make-believe parts.
Artificial plants have become a virtual Gumby garden of movable limbs. Nor are all specimens of a given type identical. The fake ferns on the table had different shapes, as they would in nature. Ditto for the wonderfully complex hydrangeas with their multi-colored petals and variously-sized leaves. Other wannabes had their share of browned-out stems, not unlike what you’d find in an actual garden.
I confess that I bought one of these imposters. At home, I plunked it in the most unnatural spot ”“ my desk, where no self-respecting plant has ever survived. This one will surely outdo its predecessors.
Then yesterday, while grocery shopping, I spotted a live rendition of my copycat plant. It was perfectly formed and dark green throughout ”“ not a blemish to be found. If anything, it looked less real and more suspect than my stand-in at home. Had the two specimens been side-by-side, my knockoff would handily have won the prize for street cred.
What’s wrong with this picture?
In the old days, artificial plants were so blatantly cheesy that comparisons were beside the point. Too often their style or materials barely replicated more than a hint of the real thing. Today, by contrast, some of the copies are so good that you have to get up close and personal to know for sure. In a strange turn of events, it’s sometimes the live plants that look more aspirational, like they’re trying too hard to please.
Now that April is here, our winter ploys can be retired for the year. Thankfully, real gardens ”“ with real flowers for cutting ”“ will soon take their place.
— Joan Silverman is a writer in Kennebunk. Her work has appeared in The Christian Science Monitor, Chicago Tribune, and Dallas Morning News.
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