Welcome to the special Mardi Gras issue of GO. Within these pages you will get the skinny on Mardi Gras parties, costume balls and concerts happening in the Greater Portland area, an interview with New Orleans legend Ivan Neville (who’s bringing his zydeco-jazz-rock-funk hybrid Dumpstaphunk to Port City Music Hall) and tips on how to make the perfect Hurricane cocktail.

But if you prefer to celebrate at home, I’ve got you covered there, too. I went to college in Monroe, La., and thus celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans four years in a row. Granted, I was in an alcohol-induced haze most of the time, but I think I can remember enough to scrounge up some tips on bringing the revelry of the Big Easy to your living room and forget the 6-foot-high snow drifts outside your window.

(This is the family-friendly version of Mardi Gras. If you want the adult version, simply throw in some chants of “show your (insert favorite body part here),” and you’ll be all set.)

Here’s what you’ll need:

• Beads. I cannot emphasize that enough. You simply cannot have a Mardi Gras party without bead necklaces, which you can buy at any party store. It’s like having a Super Bowl party without beer. Speaking of which:

• Cocktails. The Hurricane is the drink of choice for Mardi Gras celebrants, but really, anything with alcohol will do. For the kids, you can make Shirley Temples or stick an umbrella in a glass of red Kool-Aid.

• Shiny gold, purple and green decorations. If you want to go all-out, throw in some ball-style masks and feather boas to wear. But avoid coconut bras and grass skirts, especially if you’re a guy — they’ll just make you look like an idiot.

• Jazz music. Not the slow, Kenny G-style stuff, but real jazz — ragtime, dixieland, big band, swing, etc. You can’t go wrong with Louis Armstrong or The Preservation Hall Jazz Band.

• Cajun food. You know how Mainers are about lobster? It’s the same with Louisianans and crawfish. They stick them in just about anything — etouffee, gumbo, jambalaya — or just boil them en masse. (But don’t suck the heads like they do, because that’s just gross.) Throw in some crab cakes and red beans and rice as side dishes, and king cake (complete with a plastic baby inside) for dessert.

• Party favors, such as noisemakers, kazoos and plastic doubloons. The Zulu Krewe hands out decorated coconuts on the parade route, so that’s also an option.

• New Orleans lingo. It’s pretty easy, really — just replace all the “th” sounds with “d,” as in “dat,” “dose” and “dere,” and condense several words into one. (Example: “Did you eat?” becomes “Jeet?”)

Also — and this is very important — never, ever say “New Or-lenes.” It’s pronounced “New Or-lens.” Or, if you’re a native, “N’Awlins.” (Again, condensing two words into one.)

Above all, don’t stress out over your party planning. Mardi Gras is about being laid-back and having fun. They don’t call New Orleans the Big Easy for nothing.

Deputy Managing Editor Rod Harmon may be contacted at 791-6450 or at:
rharmon@pressherald.com

 

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