Staff Sergeant Mathew Sabasteanski, of Raymond, is getting to know his son Finley for the second time in his life.
Sabasteanski, 39, recently came home from a tour of duty in Iraq, where he served for 15 months in and around city of Ar Ramadi.
“You quickly learn the little things you missed… Fin was a little over a month old when I left, and I missed his first words, his first step,” he said.
Matt spent only a month with his newborn son before being sent to Iraq, leaving his wife Kristina and their older son Bowden, 3, in Raymond, to serve as a medic in the Vermont National Guard. He was part of 56 combat missions, during which time his vehicle was hit by an improvised explosive device, he engaged in firefights, provided medical treatment for Iraqis and Americans alike, and lost friends.
“‘Surreal’ is the best word to describe it. There’s really not much that can prepare you. You step out of your ambulance and you can hardly believe what’s in front of you. But you do it because you have to,” he said.
While Matt was stationed in Iraq, Kristina was busy at home with two energetic children to watch.
“I’ve been in the Olympics (biathlon), and that’s nothing compared to caring for two kids by yourself,” she laughed.
The help and support Kristina needed while Matt was away did not come in the form of the Vermont National Guard, but in the simple gestures of community members.
Friends and neighbors frequently stopped by their home to help around the house, carrying out chores and fixing “whatever needed to be fixed,” she said. They frequently babysat her boys while Kristina could go for a run by herself if she needed, or just have time to relax. A local theatre group would drop dinner off for her and her boys every Monday night, a welcomed respite from cooking for three every night.
The couple maintained contact throughout the year mostly through instant messaging, and Matt said he was always privy to their friends’ and neighbors’ support for his family while he was fighting the insurgency and caring for other wounded soldiers.
“They were just good Raymond folk,” he said, adding that neither he nor Kristina had asked for any assistance, that it was simply given without question.
The date Matt was to come home and finally reunite with his family changed frequently, which caused a lot of stress for both parents.
“There was a lot of anxiety about getting home…we were both exhausted by the time we got together,” he said.
When Matt finally returned home, he said Finley knew exactly who his father was and met him with his arms wide open.
“I couldn’t believe how much he grew,” he said.
According to Kristina, Finley’s behavior has improved drastically since his father’s return.
“I can’t believe how much better he’s gotten,” she said.
According to Matt, his readjustment as a civilian is going well. He is taking time off from his job as director of recreation at Pineland Farms, and is now simply learning to be with his family again.
“The energy of the kids will take some getting used to,” he said.
As for the war he left behind, Matt said that from his perspective as a medic, American forces are moving forward.
“Some guys will say they’ve gained nothing from the war. I worked seven days a week, 16 hours a day… I’ve treated everyone from American soldiers to Iraqi children. I guess it’s all about what you put into it,” he said.
Home and safe. Staff Sergeant Matt Sabasteanski recently returned home in Raymond to his wife Kristina and sons Bowden, 3, and Finley, 1, after serving 15 months in Iraq.Send questions/comments to the editors.
