Learning to drive after the age of 30 is probably not the best idea. By then, a person has been exposed to a lot more traffic accidents and has lost that “nothing can happen to me” attitude of younger people.
When I was in high school, driver education was just beginning to be taught and I was unable to take the class. I left Windham when I was 18 and always lived in cities where there was public transportation, until I moved to South Dakota – but then my husband had a driver’s license.
When I moved back to Windham, I had to get a job and that meant I had to learn to drive. It was a challenge to practice, with my mother along (she had a license), holding my 18-month-old son in her lap. That was not my choice, but there was no babysitter.
I was never one of those people who loved to drive, taking long auto trips. Driving was a necessity so I could get to work, PTA meetings, Cub Scouts, Little League….you get the picture. As the years went by, driving became less and less something I looked forward to; my eyesight, never good, seemed to be worse at night and like many other seniors, I don’t drive at night any longer, nor do I venture far from familiar surroundings.
Giving up a driver’s license won’t be as traumatic for me as for some, perhaps, but it will still mean a little more loss of independence. I am not anticipating asking for rides to the grocery store, the library, the doctor or even the office.
For many senior citizens, “hanging up the keys” is the last thing they want to do.
A newsletter called “Wellness Works” carried a succinct article in the Summer 2005 edition, giving 10 signs that it may be time to give up the keys or at least limit driving. Frankly, some of these sound very familiar to me:
1. Have difficulty staying in the lane,
2. Feel less comfortable, more nervous or more fearful when driving,
3. Having more close calls or traffic violations,
4. Hearing other drivers honking at you more often,
5. Getting lost or losing track of where you parked,
6. Noting more dents, scratches on the car or garage door,
7. Difficulty making decisions about when it’s safe to pull out onto the street, or judging distance between two cars,
8. Slower response time – trouble moving your foot between gas and brake,
9. Difficulty checking over your shoulder while backing up, changing lanes, or pulling out into traffic.
10. Trouble seeing the whole road, breakdown lanes or using mirrors.
Having to depend on other people goes against the grain of most of us, especially those who have always been independent. Women who have held responsible jobs outside the home, often depend on driving. In rural areas – most of Maine – public transportation is pretty much non-existent, so not having a driver’s license and safe vehicle means isolation and can mean deprivation.
In the major cities and slowly moving to “suburbia,” the outskirts of cities, there are a few transportation options available, but for the majority of Mainers, loss of licenses is really a tough situation and so far, there is no easy solution. This is an issue just like affordable prescription drugs – it will have to be faced by policy makers all over our country, as the population ages.
Personally, I think any decision like moving out of a life-long home or “hanging up the keys” goes a lot better if it is done voluntarily. Several years ago, I reluctantly stopped driving after dark, when my eyesight deteriorated. This meant I’d be unable to attend meetings I really wanted to go to, go to the library, visit friends and work at a part-time job. But it was a serious choice to make, when I realized I couldn’t see the lines on the road, I recognized how dangerous this was for others and for me. It’s not difficult to say, “Sorry, I can’t drive at night any more.”
I’d much rather make the tough decisions like these on my own without a family member, friend or medical professional giving me advice or a friendly suggestion. You may feel the same way. Meanwhile, be preparing yourself for this almost inevitable event. Believe it or not, if you can get over the reluctance to ask for help, you’ll often find help is available.
Most of us have spent a great part of our life helping others and enjoying it. Now may be the time to let others enjoy the good feeling of helping.
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